If only I could
come back to the past, I would never do such big mistake and could be still a virgin.
I thought that they were cruel parents who
never let me hung out at night, not even in Saturday night. They didn’t understand
that I really wanted to gather with my friends, especially in weekend. I
just wished to feel free, so I decided to have a backstreet relationship with Andre, one of my
schoolmates.
I shared
anything and spent much time with him. My trust to him was more than my trust
to my parents, even bigger than my trust to the God. I often went out on Saturday
night,-by jumping from my bedroom window-and had our dinner together or just
went around the park. Hugging and kissing were not strange anymore for us, we used to
behave as a couple such in many films. I never thought about my parents or even
the God prohibitions.
Until one day, in a rainy
night I let him to spend the night in my house, in my bedroom exactly. It
was not only because of the heavy rain, but also his broken
motorcycle. I suggested him to leave his motorbike in a repair shop. In the beginning, I slept on my
bed while he was laying on the carpet on the floor, but then I felt mercy to
see him shivering, so I asked him to move. He lied beside me and hugged me. I didn’t
know how was it happened, in the early morning suddenly I woke up and realized that I had lost
my virginity. I was weeping and woke him up. Andre looked regretful and said
sorry to me. He promised to marry me if something worse happened to me-if I
were pregnant a baby of this sex. After saying those words, he quickly
left me alone.
I felt so depressed and upset. How about if my
parents and teachers knew about it? What should I do next if I pregnant a baby?
In my anxiety, I remember the
one who could help me and never angry to me, even though I
forgot about him for a long time. I come back to my God, Allah, and pray. I
was crying, admitted all of my sins and begged him to give me a second chance.I felt guilty
and full of remorse. Luckily, I wasn’t pregnant. Thanked God for this second chance, I promised to
be better in the future.
I just keep this story for myself and never tell to
anyone, not even to my parents. Let it be my secret forever. How about
Andre? I don’t know where he is. He is disappeared, lost with his promise and I never see him since the day he had taken
my virginity.
